Your community deserves you whole

This phenomenal quote was delivered by Alexis Pauline Gumbs, a Barnard alumna who spoke in Philosophy Hall just last month. I was sitting directly in front of Alexis as she spoke these words, and I’m not being melodramatic when I tell you that they brought tears to my eyes.

This is my fourth year at Columbia, and I’d agree with anyone who said that sometimes it can be hard to feel whole here. In an institution where you’re surrounded by people who are unbelievably intelligent and accomplished, it can seem impossible to live up to what’s expected of you. This is especially true when most signs are saying that in order to succeed, it’s necessary that you jettison all notions of balance and self-care by constantly pushing yourself to your limits and beyond.

But it’s not.

If you’re looking for a path to success, self-discipline to the point of self-flagellation is definitely not what you want. While I don’t really want to get into life philosophies, I’ll just tell you that from my own experiences with mental illness, I’ve found that success feels much more real when it comes from honesty, not from perfection. When you work on what you’re passionate about and take the time to surround yourself with people who will support you, you’ve already found success. I mean, you succeeded in getting here, didn’t you? You can be proud of yourself just for that.

But still, finding this serenity is tough, and not everyone is sold on this idealist dream. I’ll admit, Columbia sets its goal pretty high when it declares in its mission statement that “it expects all areas of the university to advance knowledge and learning at the highest level and to convey the products of its efforts to the world.” This is lofty indeed, but you were asked to come here because Columbia believes that you can reach this goal. And I, too, believe you can, but in order to do so, you need to be functioning in good health—physically, mentally, socially, emotionally, financially and even spiritually. You need to be whole.

This is why there are student groups and programs all over campus working to provide you with support during your time here. They can be hard to find sometimes, but there are people who can help you navigate the system. If there’s an area in your life that constantly comes up as a point of conflict (or even if you’re just looking to engage more deeply with the vast resources we have here), talk to someone about it. You can reach out to your RA, friends, or advisor for ideas.

Even if you’ve looked all around and not found the answer to your problem, don’t give up! Instead, do something about it. We’re some of the smartest, hardest-working kids around, and if we’re going to exist in a Columbia that expects the most of us, we need to expect the most of Columbia. By combining our passions, interests, and abilities with those of the administrators at Alice!, Counseling and Psychological Services, Sexual Violence Response, and Res Life, as well as with those of our deans, together we can make Columbia the university we want it to be. Lastly, if you’ve tried all of this and the problem’s still there, don’t forget that you can always take some time away from school to recuperate.

Columbia wants you whole, too.

So what’s the moral of the story? Talk to people. Smile. Say hi. Be honest with yourself and others. Reach out when you need it. Demand the most of your time here, and give it all you’ve got. Find a way (amid the readings, papers, problem sets, and meetings) to keep yourself whole, because not only does Columbia deserve you whole, you deserve you whole.

Now let’s just figure out how to make that happen.

The author is a Columbia College senior majoring in psychology.